Suffering and failure are part of each success story

As women we are born strong, but somehow we feel our greatest strength lies in hiding our weakness.

Even I have felt it sometimes..

Like every woman I am strong, but just like most women , I feel that any sign of vulnerability is a step towards failure. I hide my moments of defeat, just like some women put concealer on scars on their face.

Sometimes to tell the greatest story of success, one has to first write the prologue of failure.

The sufferings are true, and part of the journey, but most people are afraid to tell their whole story. Can you imagine a child learning to walk without falling down?

• I have cried in front of my daughter over small issues but there are times when I have remained calm and shielded her from the hurricanes that hit my world.
• I have a temper and I have patience.
• I also give free advice to people esp when I feel they need to hear the bitter truth; I have received the same and it has done me good.
• I am not glamorous, I can be a fashion nightmare.
• I have my bad hair day (almost everyday)
• Sometimes I am not eloquent and curse myself when I scramble my head for the exact word.
• I buy books which gather layers of dust before I can actually read them.
• I am not fond of cooking daily (only therapeutically to calm myself) but still I love to make my daughter’s school lunch.
• I have had rocky spells in my marriage (and sometimes used the rocks to build the foundation)
• I have had rough days at work,I have partnered to build something exquisite and I have parted ways too.
• I have fought with my parents and siblings but i trust them the most.

(yes, I’m my own living contradiction, but aren’t we all constantly fighting between whims and reality?)

I am sometimes scared to start all over- again,from scratch, but I’d rather give it my best, than give up.

I have felt like an under-achiever, felt I haven’t accomplished everything I dreamed of and felt I am not good enough. If you feel this way on somedays, then you just need to be kind to yourself and drop the hourglass of expectations.

Life doesn’t always happen in the order we wish, sometimes the sequence may be different, but we eventually get all that we want and deserve. Keep doing your Karma (and while you are at it, do intelligent-hard work)

Despite my imperfections, I show up for life. Despite being beaten-down, I won’t give up.

Every failure, every defeat is the battle scar I have earned, marching my way to winning-big or small.

(These thoughts came up when www.ngoexpress.com along with Sampradaa Collections started a #Powersaree contest on Instagram @sampradaa, inviting women to share their empowering moment, their saree stories, tales of rocking the world in ethnic elegance-often liek our mothers and grandmothers, and celebrating being a superwoman in their special cape- The Saree. I still come across women who need encouragement to be proud of reciting their life story, because each story is unique and is meant to help someone out there)

Saree story – Pre and Post GST

This Diwali season, my sister and I enjoyed going through (read as rummaging) our mother’s saree collection; we wore a couple of her sarees for festive evenings.

On last day of Diwali, I wore a Banarasi saree, which is over 35 years old and has been my favourite since childhood. The fragrance of real zari, along with the gleam and occasional dullness (when left unpolished for years, tucked away in dark corners of a box) are all part of the saree stories that live in crevices of memory.

As I took out this favourite red and green Banarasi saree to wear , I was amazed by the weight of this pure zari elegance. I looked at it in awe, as I reminisced my mother wearing it during pujas at home. The floodgates of involuntary memories opened and I remembered how beautiful my grandmother looked in her sarees — mostly crisp cottons for school , since she was a vice-principle. For all other occasions like pujas and weddings, Nani wore silk sarees. My great-grandmother, who I have little recollection of, was also a saree-lady. She was a teacher in pre-independence India in 1930s, a time when less than 3% Indian women were educated.( as per census, the female literacy rate was 1.8% in 1921 and 2.9 % in 1931 )

 

 

My mother also followed in the graceful “saree” footsteps and the glorious “education” footsteps (though she is a business woman ). Even today she wears saree when she steps out for work whether an office visit or factory. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and hence education and saree are both important to me too. Though the credit also goes to my father for always encouraging us to chose elegance and intelligence over everything else.

The one fact that my great-grandmother, Nani, mother, & I also shared until earlier this year was, we didn’t have to pay taxes on our sarees. A beautiful fact that was common for generations of women, tax-free Indian wear. My “Grands” definitely departed an India which was free of “saree-tax”. Perhaps, strong laws cannot stand strong women, and they lived through times when Independence for Country and women empowerment was more important than burdening them with taxes. I wonder if My grandmother and great-grandmother would have agreed to paying taxes (GST) on saree? I doubt they would succumb to such tax regimes.

My saree collection is divided into two eras- pre-GST and post-GST.

For working hard wasn’t good enough, nor was taking the time to keep our ethnic wear spirit alive. We must pay 12% taxes on that too.

Taxes are important for Nation-building and with evolving times, taxes evolve too. However, the rates and range of taxes imposed can surely be reconsidered to offer some relief.